Go Away Lance. Go Away. I Am Not Going to Say Please.
1. Lance Armstrong spent two plus hours with Oprah Winfrey, apparently copping to using PEDs. Well, I guess I am glad he finally admitted wrongdoing. But for the love of all that is good, please go away. Your confession is probably financially driven as you haven’t cared whose life you ruined along the way as long as you and your empire were in the clear. So after this, do the right thing and fade into obscurity. It’s the only decent thing you can do. And Lance didn’t want to really spill all the beans. First of all, that might be legal suicide. Secondly, an interviewer like Bob Costas might have really opened him up. But he chose to go with Oprah. Oprah is a great many things, but a journalist isn’t one of them. Interviewer-yes. Journalist-no. In the spirit of Lance going on with Oprah, I am sure Maury Povich has already put out feelers to a good chunk of the NBA. That would be an epic “You are the father/You are NOT the father show.”
2. Hockey is back!!! When asked for comment all of Canada said “We’ll get back to you in the morning. It’s good news, but now we have to focus on the fact that we may not have enough Molson 3.0 to make it through the season.” I am not a hockey fan in the sense that I actually care who wins and loses. But I am glad that the lockout is over and our athletes don’t have to play in Finland.
3. Mark Cuban told the media yesterday that “The Bank of Cuban is open.” Sadly he wasn’t offering out low interest loans, but trades of players on his bad Mavericks team. Dirk Nowitzki is not one of them, but maybe he should be. The only way to rebuild in the NBA is to blow up the entire structure and start from scratch. The Mavs have done a good job so far of razing the building. But is Cuban talking fire sale? Or does he actually think this team is close to contending with the right moves? Mark, you are way smarter than most of us, but please be talking fire sale.
4. I would love to see an all Harbaugh Super Bowl. But I would also love to see Tom Brady win another. Yes. I am that guy. I wouldn’t mind seeing the Pats win another. Stop being haters. Love Brady. Embrace him. He’s fun to watch. I do realize that this, to some, is like rooting for the guards in “The Longest Yard,” but I don’t care.
5. You know what’s great? Justified. Watch it. Thank me later. Seriously, if you watch it, you must thank me.
6. Why do couples have Facebook accounts together? I don’t get it. Have your own Facebook page. If one of you doesn’t want to be on Facebook, that’s OK. There was a world pre-social media. Let them stay off the grid. All of your friends think it’s weird and won’t tell you. Trust me. It’s harsh to hear I know. But get a clue.
7. So is it too early to start counting down to the 4 team BCS playoff? The season just ended and we only have one more year of the old system. I can’t wait for teams to lower the bar and start clamoring that they should have been number 4. It actually might be an easier argument than claiming to be at least 2nd Best.
8. I do somewhat enjoy that everything old is new again with action movies right now. In the next month Stallone, Arnold, and Bruce Willis all have movies coming out. And the Willis one is the 5th Die Hard. None of them will win any awards. But I’ll probably watch all of them. Kids today missed out on the great action movie boom of 1984-1996. Salad days they were.
9. Everyone asks me what I think about Monte Kiffin. I honestly don’t have a strong opinion one way or the other right now. My worry is that the Cowboys just don’t have the wherewithal to win even with some of the good players they have. I’ll tell you what I said on the air the other day. Jerry Jones is not the worst owner in the league. He is also not the best. He lives somewhere in the middle. Just like his team. 8-8. And there’s the rub.
10. Rapid fire. 3 things that will make you smile right now.
2 Baby Orangutans
That is all.
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